Music is never far from my ears or fingers but I have to wonder if it’s worth the effort sometimes. Years ago I learned that doing stuff all by yourself can be a good idea. Mistakes have to be fully owned and although a success not shared with others can feel a little underwhelming the fact that it’s all hassle free can definitely outweigh that.
I went into the studio late last year to record an album with one of my old bands, twometersdeep. I was pretty reluctant at first, some of the personalities at play were often too complex to work with and me being the only engine running in a forward gear all the time burned me out when we were together the last time.
But jamming again showed how easy it was for us to create music we all loved and I got pulled straight in. A handful of rehearsals with my old mate Stevie from my other band Trinity on drums and we decided to give it a go.
The first week we were all in there to record guide tracks but by the third week I was in the studio by myself laying down guitar tracks with Stevie having finished the drums sitting in the control room being in turns encouraging and sarcastic. I was in my element, I felt inspired, I was winging it the entire time and I put down some of the best guitar I’ve ever done.
And that’s where it ends. The next sound heard by the studio engineer was the sound of the toys thrown from the pram hitting the studio floor.
I’m disappointed. Not in anyone else, but in myself for not knowing it was going to happen and I’d been stuck with a job half done and no one but me to finish it. Again.
I just want to play.