Show and tell sometime later

I have a sneaky old school showroom blog preview going live in a day or two and I’ve also got my first outdoors trade show for a long while on this week.
For this I have prepared the following handy phrases.
1/ No, the white hair is real, I am not a ghost.
2/ I totally did/ am doing/ will do that review.
3/ Who the hell am I? I was briefly viewed by some people on the internet in the late 70s.
4/ I’m sorry officer, I just lost it. There’s only so many times I can take someone spelling my name with a capital F on a badge.
5/ Wait, this is the new stuff? I’m away hame.
My inner geek is free again, let’s go and see,